Parenting

I wrote a statement on Facebook yesterday that, "Isabelle is officially a toddler that sleeps in her OWN room. *sniffle*"

I got some responses that got me thinking. Is there really a right way of raising your children?

I've always been under the belief that you raise your children how it works for your family - with your own family's quirks and dysfunctionalities factored in. I mean we've all got our baggage, right?

We chose to start integrating Isabelle in her own room at 15 months. She's not completely in there yet, but everything is a gradual change with children. Anyway, the reasoning behind that is because I'm pregnant with her little brother/sister. They will be 22 months (basically 2 years, 2010 & 2012) apart when he/she is born. She's going to be in the 'terrible 2's' and I thought it may be easier to start easing her into her room earlier than before she starts really kicking & screaming (not that she really does that but just in case).

It works with our family, because we don't have a huge California King sized bed. We have a little Queen sized bed and we all fit - and will still fit even with an addition. It just makes sense to give the new baby some dedicated time next to Mommy & Daddy; basically the time that Izzy got with us.

I slept with my Mom for a REALLY long time. I was an only child and although I wasn't raised alone (my grandmother raised me with lots of kids in the home), it was just solely 'Me&Mom' in the bed at night. I don't regret anything in what she did, because it seemed comforting at the time, but I'm just not doing the same for my children.

Sleeping with my Mom for a long time made me dependent on being 'with' someone. I'm sure it wasn't just that, but I had a lot of fears growing up as a kid that I couldn't seem to face alone. There were lots of insecurities that I fought with that I couldn't seem to have the confidence to deal with on my own. Not that that just revolves around sleeping with my child, but to me, it sure didn't help my personal growth.

I guess there are just some things that I learned being the child that slept with a parent late.

My best friend slept in her room as long as I can remember. I know all children are different but she and I were born 1 week apart and my husband (and her longtime boyfriend) can attest, lol we are practically the same person. We do have our differences though, I'm much more independent with decision making (basically knowing what I want) and she's much more independent with everything else. Hmm, and somehow, I think that the accomplishment of sleeping in her room by herself attributed to her personal growth.

I know I don't have to 'explain' myself or what Chris and I have decided to do, but I explain it for me. It helps me get through this also; Reminds me why we decided to do this in the first place. It's not easy for us either. It would be a heck of a lot easier to have her just be bundled up next to me.

Onto other parenting things...

A parent that will remain nameless told me that I was turning my child into a couch potato, because I play educational shows for her and let her watch Disney movies, LOL.

I KNOW, I'm not supposed to take that to heart, but screw you hippy, LOL!! I'm going to play bilingual Japanese/English shows and participate with her, or let her watch Baby Einstein so she can be exposed to Mozart & Bach, or LET her watch Disney Princesses because it's a great resource for Mommies who have babies that DON'T NAP DURING THE DAY.

Sheesh!! There are limits. It's not like she's watching shows the entire day. She has a good balance of lots of activities including coloring. Can your baby color with crayons & markers on his/her own at a year? Ugh, I'm not sure why I'm so bothered by that. I blame the hormones.

There are other things that some people have brought up to me about my 'unconventional' parenting choices, but I KNOW, it's mostly because I live on Gabriola - where the conventional parenting choices are 'unconventional' in most metropolitan or larger cities.

My point is, there is NEVER a right that will suit everyone. Right is what works for you and your family.